"The command 'Be ye perfect' is not idealistic gas. Nor is it a command to do the impossible. [God] is going to make us into creatures that can obey that command. He said (in the Bible) that we were 'gods' and He is going to make good His words. If we let Him--for we can prevent Him, if we choose--He will make the feeblest and filthiest of us into a god or goddess, a dazzling, radiant, immortal creature, pulsating all through with such energy and joy and wisdom and love as we cannot now imagine, a bright stainless mirror which reflects back to God perfectly (though, of course, on a smaller scale) His own boundless power and delight and goodness. The process will be long and in parts very painful, but that is what we are in for. Nothing less. He meant what He said."
(C.S. Lewis in Mere Christianity, 205-206)
What I Used to Think:
In addition to this idea from Lewis, a comment by Brother Ward in class also must be mentioned: “The scriptures say ‘Be ye therefore perfect,’ not ‘Be ye therefore a perfectionist.’ That is a perversion of the truth by the devil,” and it essentially means “we are trying to do it all on our own.”
That really hit home for me. I think I try so hard to be the perfect friend, daughter, president, student, teacher, employee, woman, etc. that I turn into a perfectionist, and I forget who I really need to please—only my Heavenly Father. When I am being a perfectionist, I think of how I can make everything perfect, and do everything I’m supposed to do perfectly. As a friend I try to be understanding and forgiving when offended, I try to be "there" when I am needed, and I try to make time for others when really there isn't time. As the RS President I try to make the perfect agenda, have the perfect meeting, visit everyone who needs to be visited, be perfectly prepared for every assignment, and fulfill every responsibility I have with perfection. As a teacher I feel every class must be perfect, interesting, and exciting. Each PowerPoint must be perfect, and every student must understand perfectly.
Then, when I fail (because how could I succeed with such expectations?) I beat myself up. I tell myself I'm not good enough to be the RSP; as teacher (of English, no less) I freak out when I see a typo on a PowerPoint in class, or when I don't have my students' papers graded in what I think is a "timely manner." If I am too busy to hang out or talk, I think that I'm a horrible friend, or whatever else I feel I should be at the time. Every General Conference I get out my notebook, take lots of notes, and by the time I am finished I have an impossibly long list of things I need to start doing better, or stop doing all together. I used to think that I was doing what they asked, that I was day by day and step by step becoming perfect. In a way, I guess that is true. But I used to think it was more about me doing everything perfectly, and then berating myself when I failed--and that really is a perversion of the devil because here’s the problem: I burn myself out. And soon, I start focusing so much on the things that I didn’t do right, or the things I need to do tomorrow, or later on today, that I forget the point—forget the “why” of the gospel, as Elder Uchtdorf talked about at the Relief Society Broadcast this year. I forget all the areas I have succeeded in that day with the help of the Lord; I forget the real focus of the gospel—Christ—and instead focus on how I need to work harder or do better.
What I Am Coming to Understand
The thing is, there is really only one thing I need on my “to do” list: come unto Christ. That is what every Conference talk, every lesson in church, every scripture, every temple session, is all about. When I get caught up in the “doing,” in being a “perfectionist” and I forget the “why” of the gospel, then I am missing the point. And eventually I am missing the “mark.”
Heavenly Father demands perfection, but he says I don’t have to do it alone. Moroni 10:32 says—“Yeah, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God.” It’s all about turning to Him, and telling Him honestly each day, “I did my very best today, and it probably wasn’t enough, but I know with you it can be.” That’s all He asks. And as I do that, I cannot deny the power of God, or be denied the power of God—and eventually I will become a god. It’s amazing and mind-boggling, but it’s true.
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