Idaho is a Wonderland

This past weekend was Pioneer Day, the day that the Mormon pioneers entered the Salt Lake Valley in 1847. In all seriousness, am very grateful for my pioneer ancestors, and the things they sacrificed to come to Utah so they could worship as they pleased. I love to hear the stories, and see the pictures of those who crossed the plains so many years ago. I thank and admire them.

I am also grateful because it means I got a three day weekend.

I used this weekend wisely, and went home with two friends from my mission: Corrinn Aune, and Mitchell McBride. When we started out the trip, I admit I thought it was a slightly odd combination of people, but I knew it would be fun. Mitch was planning to come up to Idaho to help work on his grandma's house, and get it fixed up and ready for her return from her mission in a few weeks. Corrinn and I had been talking for several weeks about making a trip to Idaho so she could see "where I'm from" and spend some time with my family. So, we decided to all go up together.

We left Friday morning, and even though we got stuck in traffic (going so slow that Corrinn got out of the car, stood by the Corrinne, Utah sign, Mitch took her picture and she got back in all without holding up traffic) we still made good time, and got there by 1:30pm. We first got some Wendy's (good stuff) and then headed over to Mitch's grandma's house to do some work. We had originally planned to work on Saturday, but since we had time we decided to knock it all out on Friday afternoon. His uncle had told us a few things that needed to be done, and then told us to just do what we could, and not worry about coming Saturday. We ended up getting almost everything done: cleaning paint off of wooden chairs, painting the bathroom, cleaning the tile, and even a few things we weren't asked to do, like fixing the toilet and putting shutters back up (okay, so obviously Mitch did those things...) Who would have thought that cleaning would be so much fun? Well, with this group, it was.

Time flew, and before we knew it we were heading to my house for dinner. Dad had cooked fajitas, and we got home just in time. Most of my family already knew both of my friends, but it was fun to see them all interact. Especially with the dogs! (Which they loved...I think.) Clayton read a "Break-up Letter" from YouTube (he edited it) and had us all in stitches. Then between him, my dad, and Mitch we pretty much couldn't breathe that night. Or most of the weekend. After dinner the men went into the living room for "man talk" and us girls chatted in the kitchen. It was just a chill and fun evening.

Saturday was "Pioneer Day" and even though Clayton and Melissa both had to work, the rest of us still had a really fun day. It started when we went to the parade in St. Anthony, Idaho. We got there pretty early, so I had time to walk Corrinn and Mitch around town and show them where I lived before, and see a few of the "sights" lol...okay, so there aren't too many sights in St. Anthony, but it's a fun and quaint little town, and we had fun walking around. We even ran into Mitch's aunt! Once the parade started we stood most of the time, watching the horses, military men, and floats. It's probably the best parade around the area all year. The weather was perfect, and we had fun!



Then we headed straight from there to Mesa Falls, where Corrinn and Mitch were amazed that Idaho is actually beautiful. Okay, just kidding. But the falls are amazing, and we got some great pictures. Mitch even inspired dad to try a new way of wearing his hat.






































Here's one of Mitch with water all over his face...it must have been hot. Or maybe Corrinn sprayed him in the face with the drinking fountain. Something like that, the memory is a little fuzzy....





We left the falls and headed out to eat lunch. For lunch we brought hot dogs and cookies (the essentials) so we drove out to a campsite and built a fire. The "men" went and got the wood, and started a roaring blaze. Well, it would have been, if they had found more wood. And if it hadn't taken us forever to cut some willows for roasting the hot dogs. Corrinn and I waded across the roaring river to cut some willows on the other side. Okay it was a big ditch, but the rocks were slippery, and there were a few seconds there where it was touch and go! The biggest problem was that the knife was alittle dull...but we got 'er done! Again, we all laughed til our guts hurt and really enjoyed ourselves!






From there we headed out to Big Spring where the water bubbles out from under ground, and trickles out of the mountain. It's beautiful, see?

We put our feet in the water, and realized that it must have been snow about 10 seconds before...it was so cold! So, we had a competetion to see who could hold their foot in the longest. I was winning, so Mitch cheated. Well, I sprinkled a little water on his face (cause he looked warm) and he decided it was war. So he splashed the whole right side of my body! I jumped back to escape and he shouted "I Win!" So I took his hat and soaked it in the river and put it back on his head. Things got ugly after that... okay, not really. But he threatened to throw me in if we ever go back. I'll take a mental note...








We drove home after that, going through Ashton, Idaho where we stopped for ice cream at Dave's Delicatessen. You get tons of ice cream for your buck so we had to stop.

When we got home we changed from shorts and flip flops to jeans and tennis shoes and headed out to the horse pasture. Corrinn and I followed on the four-wheeler, with dad and Mitch in the truck. As we rode she kept saying "I can't believe you live here! This is so beautiful!" Which it is.

Corrinn and Mitch were the first to ride, and after a brief riding lesson, they were off. After one lap around the field Mitch decided he wanted to be a cowboy. Well, I guess he had always wanted to, but now he said he KNEW he wanted to. They both rode well, and even got stubborn Chevy and Disco to gait a little! Dad was impressed cause Corrinn got Disco to ride away from Chevy and be on his own! Maybe we should start calling her the "Horse Whisperer." Oh, and Mitch is working on his cowboy pose. What do you think?

The rest of us took our turns, and while we did that Corrinn and Mitch took their turn on the four-wheeler--going REALLY slow, and then it got too dark to keep going.

Mitch came back with me on the four-wheeler, and I showed him how you're REALLY supposed to drive them. At one point we pulled onto a main road where the speed limit is 40. "You can only go 40 on this road," he said. I can only assume he thought that meant I'd slow down. But, you see, 40 feels a LOT faster on a four-wheeler than in a car. "You want me to go 40?" I asked. "Okay!" So we did. It was hilarious. When we got home I let him drive once around the subdivision, and we parked it for the night. "I'm gonna move to Idaho..." he sang,"...and live here for the rest of my life!" Haha, both he and Corrinn said it was the most fun they'd ever had. Probably not true, but hey, it's Idaho, it rocks!










Mom, Melissa and Corrinn had gotten Subway, so we all had a late supper before heading to bed.
Sunday we went to church, and came home and had a dutch oven dinner. Dad made chicken, and Corrinn helped make the potatoes. She had never seen a red potato that big before. The things these non-Idahoans miss out on! It's incredible haha... there was a little down time during which we talked and played with the puppies.

Dinner was obviously delicious, but the best part was after we ate when we sat around and shared our most embarrassing stories. Mom laughed so hard she was crying as she described the time she wore her mom's wig to school in 5th grade. The rest of us struggled to think of really embarrassing moments, but Mitch had to narrow his down to the "top three" which he shared with us in such detail that we were all gasping for breath through our laughter. It was great. But all too soon the weekend was over, and once again we loaded up the car and drove home.

Driving back to Utah brought even MORE funny moments, if you can imagine, as well as lots of great conversation. By the time we got back to Utah I felt like I was traveling with my two best friends. It was a great weekend, and as Mitch put it "the best road-trip ever" and I am so glad that we got to go! Thanks mom and dad for letting us stay and for showing us the high life in Idaho!

Being Creative

So, I pretty much love to do lots of things, from outdoors activities, to curling up inside with a good book. However, I am the most happy when I am being creative--whether I am creating a story, a paper, a blog, a picture, a song, a cake, a drawing, a t-shirt, clothing, a quilt, or a smile cause I told you something hilaaaarious. And I like to share things I have created with others.

This week I have been creating "slide shows" to go along with music that was recorded during a fireside the missionaries put on while I was serving in Texas. The theme of the fireside was "The Restoration" and there were many members and missionaries who participated. I was lucky enough to get to "create" music by singing as well as playing the piano. The first video is me singing with Hermana Fatai Tavo (Nau) who is also playing the piano. The second video is me accompanying Elder Kenneth Price, who is playing the violin (which he does SO well.) I hope you enjoy.

Faith, Hope, and Charity in the Flesh

Most of us have heard all our lives about faith, hope, and charity. These three attributes are talked about in church, General Conference, and the scriptures, probably more than any other topic. To me they have always seemed like lofty goals, characteristics that you attain when you have more silver hairs than brown, and more wrinkles than years left to get them in. The discourse by Moroni in the seventh chapter of Moroni is famous, and addresses each attribute in turn, discussing how one leads to the other, and how in the end, when we finally attain them all, "...charity never faileth," which sounds great, but always makes me feel like if it's that great, it's probably pretty hard to attain--like it would take a miracle to achieve, and I don't even know where to start.


That is, until recently. I have been reading the book No One Can Take Your Place by Sherri Dew, and in one chapter she focuses on these three attributes. When I started the chapter, I thought, "Great. Another lesson on three abstract, and yet essential attributes, that will leave me wanting to do better, but not knowing how." However, I was completely surprised by this chapter.


In it she talks about a living, breathing, example of these attributes in action: Marjorie Pay Hinckley, President Hinckley's wife. Sister Dew takes each attribute, and shows how Sister Hinckley possessed it, and how it lead to her perfection of the next attribute, until she became the loving, kind, charitable person she was.





Faith: This is an attribute that obviously continues developing throughout our lives. However, we can have it to a degree now, if we can work our hardest to have faith, true faith, in Jesus Christ. Meaning, we trust Him, we believe He knows us, and we know He will make all things "work together for our good" if we just do the simple things He has asked us to do in order to stay close to Him. Sister Hinckley had firm faith in Christ, that He was in charge, and that He would direct her for good, no matter the trials she faced.

Hope: Once we have that believe, be it small and growing, or firm and unshakeable, we begin to have hope. We are optimistic that things will work out for the best, even when faced with severe challenges, uncertainties, and trials. Sister Hinckley (and her husband) were always optimistic. They knew the challenges they (and all of us) faced, but faced them with hope of better things to come, and of good days ahead.

Charity: After our faith in Christ has led us to be hopeful and optimistic about ourselves, the world, and our future, we begin to start looking outward, instead of looking inward, focusing on our fears and weaknesses. When we stop focusing on ourselves, and worrying about every little detail (because we trust in Christ to take care of us) then we can spend more time looking out for others, helping and serving those in need, and doing for others what they cannot do for themselves. This is charity. Loving others more than ourselves, and loving them like the Savior does. Sister Hinckley (and, again, her husband) were living examples of this kind of love. They radiated this love, and never left anyone's presence without making them feel better and more hopeful for having known the Hinckleys.

This simple example has changed the way I view these three attributes. I no longer think of them as impossible. Actually, it makes living by faith, hope, and charity, seem like a rather simple task, and a MUCH better way of life. I know that when I am focused more on myself, my stress, my fears, my anxieties, then I am not a fun person to be around. But if I can trust in the Lord, and not stress about the "little" stuff (and it's all little stuff) then I can stop worrying so much about me, and start living a more charitable, Christlike life.

Obviously, I'm not there yet. But now I feel like I'm on my way.

Great Hair

So, this title really has nothing to do with this entry, but there is a good story behind it. Last night I was at Ward Prayer (also called Ward "Stare" because people just go to check out other people in the ward) and my brother Kyle's friend (yeah, small world) came over and said he liked my hair. Actually, he said he had seen it from a distance and thought "Wow, that is some great hair!" and had to come over and tell me. This would have made my day on it's own, but the best part of the story is I had put no effort into my hairstyle that day. I mean, I did use some mousse, and did run the diffuser on it for a few minutes, but compared to the effort I usually put into my hair (on Sundays anyway) I really hadn't done that much to it yesterday. That is mostly due to the fact that I had an early meeting that ran late, which left me basically no time to fix it up before church. I decided to say "Oh well" because all that effort hasn't really gotten me anywhere the past few months, and apparently with very little effort (at least yesterday) I had some Great Hair.

Anyway, speaking of great hair, what this entry really was going to be about is the movie The Sorcerer's Apprentice, which I saw TWICE on Saturday. As my mom pointed out, I could have purchased the DVD of the movie for what was spent on two tickets, but the experience was well worth it. Okay, I guess "speaking of great hair" wasn't that great of a transition.....anyway...

The premise of the movie is that Merlin has died and one of his own apprentices must find the "Prime Merlinian," or the sorcerer who will take Merlin's place. Well, this is no easy task, and it ends up taking over 1,000 years. Fast forward from Mideival Europe to 21st century New York City, where Baltazaar finds his young pupil is a geeky science nerd, with a hopeless crush on a beautiful girl. This unlikely hero is barely surviving in the social world, when he is told he is a sorcerer--and not only that, but he's THE Sorcerer who must save the world from evil.

Now, it sound's pretty cheesy, a little on the "Dungeons and Dragons" side, and to be honest I wasn't to excited about seeing it. But Corrinn convinced me to go with her and her parents on Saturday afternoon, and it turned out that the casting was perfect, the storyline believable (if you believe in magic) and there was just the right mixture of action, suspense, and humor. I think I laughed all the way through, which for me is just the right amount of humor. We all thoroughly enjoyed it and left saying "I would definitely see that again!"

Little did we know that "again" would come less than 5 hours later, when we found ourselves once again in the theater (a different one this time) ready to watch The Sorcerer's Apprentice again! We had gone on a walk with Maggie, a friend of Corrinn's, and Nancy, a friend of Corrinn's mother's, and were telling them about how great this movie was. Then someone (I don't remember who) suggested we go see it again that night! We were feeling adventurous, and since we had nothing else to do, we all agreed to go.

The second time was just as entertaining as the first, if not more-so, because we knew what to expect. Nancy brought her husband Franz, who claimed it was like going to the movies with his sisters because we all laughed the whole time. Sometimes we were the ONLY ones laughing in the theatre...but who cares anyway?

If you're looking for an entertaining (and appropriate) movie to go to this weekend, I would definitely suggest The Sorcerer's Apprentice. It's a great movie, you'll want to go again, and besides...all the characters have Great Hair. Seriously. Check out the trailer. :)

Fiesta!!!

Okay, so almost a week later I am finally going to write about last Saturday. Yes, I just started the last sentence with "Okay" but hey, it's my blog, I can do what I want.

Anyway, last Saturday was a busy day just FULL of mission friends. Which, as you know if you know me, just makes me happy. To begin with, Tiawni Thomas [my favorite English companion...] came down to SLC from Ogden so we could go to a bridal shower together for Emily Jenkins [another missionary.] We had been discussing ideas for a gift, everything from "spaghetti dinner' kits to cake mixes and cookie sheets, but we finally decided on a "In sickness (and in health)" Kit. We knew that buying everything you need to take care of each other when you're sick would be expensive, even if you went to Wal Mart. So, we pulled a trick out of our "missionary" bag, and went to the dollar store! It was funny how many memories were brought back just by walking around the dollar store with Tiawni. There's a slight chance that on the mission we may have done that together...on more than one occasion. Anyway, we found a cute basket, and began filling it with everything from Kleenex to cough drops, and soon we had a "kit" that would at least get them started on a medicine chest for their new home. We even got a "Get Well Soon" card instead of a bridal shower card! We arranged everything in the basket and headed over to the shower.

The shower was fun, simple. We sat and visited with Emily, as well as with Cherelle Jones and Cindee Perry (more missionaries) who came to the shower, too. We ate treats, and Emily opened her gifts, and soon the shower was over. Tiawni and I headed out to the local Applebee's for a late lunch, and enjoyed a great meal as we caught up on recent happenings. Our waiter was also a source of entertainment as we discussed whether he was "gay" or just pretending.


After lunch we headed back up to Aune's house to get ready for the Torres' party that night. I managed to convince Tiawni to stay for the party, even though she didn't know the Torres family, or Alexis Zamora, who also came. I told Tiawni that she would know tons of missionaries, and that the food would be worth staying for if nothing else.

Anyway, she stayed, and we got to work chopping tomatoes, jalapenos, onions, cilantro, and limes for my pico de gallo. Just thinking about it makes my mouth water now... anyway, we helped set everything out, and get it all ready for the guests to arrive. Gaby Torres put on some "party music" and soon the house was full of people.


From left-ish to right-ish: Teya [Phil's daughter], Phil Catudal, Johnathon [Mark's nephew], Mark McAllister, Braden Piggott, Kenneth Price with his girlfriend, Chris White[in back], Rob Corbridge, Gaby Torers, Neftaly Torres, Cherelle Jones [in the back] Neftaly Torres Jr., Aliah Torres, Alexis Zamora, Me, Nate Steele, Karen Johnson, Corrinn Aune, Cindee Perry, Nelssie Flores, Rachel McAllister [Mark's sister] with her nephew Justin. Phew! It was a full house!




Here's what we did:
We all enjoyed eating great Mexican food(thanks in part to Matt Trappett for the tres leches cake, even though he couldn't come). Here we see Kenneth and his friends partaking.














We had a pinata. Here Mark is helping his nephew take a swing at the beast.














We also took pictures (obviously), signed pillow cases for Neftaly Jr. and Aliah, signed a book for Neftaly Sr. and Gaby, and just talked with old friends. It was a great night. Here are some more pictures:






















































All too soon it was over, and people started leaving. Mitch McBride had arrived a little late, so he stayed the longest, plotting with Corrinn to take a road trip to Houston in August. I think that so far they have 8 people or so who want to go along, and Gaby and Neftaly offered them the floor of their living room to crash on for the week. They are such giving, generous people! All in all it was a great night, and the party was a great success. It was, as always, great to visit and catch up with mission friends, and to see those who will be part of my heart forever. Thanks to everyone who came, and see you next time!

I am an Excellent Map Reader

So this past weekend has to be blogged about. I spent almost every waking moment with dear friends, and it was WONDERFUL!!!

First, Friday evening I headed down to the Salem, Utah area with Corrinn (one of my mission companions) and we just had a great talk on the way. Seems we are both learning a lot lately about dating, life, and ourselves. We were headed to a party thrown by Mike Davis (an Elder we served with in Houston) at his grandparent's ranch--complete with volleyball, a lake, and a dancing area. Since it was on the way, we stopped by Matt Trappett's apartment in Provo (he's an Elder we both served with) and picked up him and two of his roommates, Ben and Brad, who were delightful and fun to say the least. With my car full, we continued on our journey only to find that the map we had printed off was difficult to read. It gave two names for almost every street we were to turn at. We were sure we'd never get there, but Brad announced that he was a (self proclaimed) "excellent map reader" so we gave him the map. We actually made it most of the way just fine, however, the final turn had even him confused. Luckily, I am an even better map reader (ha ha), and when they finally let me look at the map I figured out the problem and got us the rest of the way there. Although, the map-reading skills of Brad are now a fun joke between the five of us.:)

[Luckily I got ahold of the map, or we could have ended up here: ]

The party was fun, though I wasn't about to put on a swimming suit in front of dozens of people I didn't know. We ran into another Elder from our mission, Lee Jensen, and the six of us spent most of the evening paddling the paddle-boats around the lake, playing a ring tossing game (that was surprisingly fun) and tossing the frisbee. Once it was dark those activities became more difficult, and though there was a dance, we were discussing what we should do next. At one point, Corrinn and Ben, the other roommate, went out on the lake in the canoe, while the rest of us decied that though the dance looked fun, we were going to head back to Provo and catch a movie. We tried to yell to our canoeing friends, but they were to far out. We waved our cell phones, and jumped up and down but that didn't work either. So, we decided that we'd have to take the paddle boat out and run them down. (Well, paddle them down...)

Lee waited on the shore while Matt, Brad, and I jumped on the paddle boat and headed off. We finally reached Corrinn and Ben as they were transfering from the canoe to the other paddle boat, and once aboard they jokingly rammed ours. We were nervous that the ramming would throw us off balance and we'd tip the boat! Then Corrinn decided she would jump over to our paddle boat and join us. None of us were thinking very clearly, so we agreed that she should come on over! Side note: These paddle boats are built for three people. Max. As Corrinn stepped onto one of the floats on the side, the boat started to tip. Luckily I was on the side furthest from where she stepped (meaning the last side to sink), but as my left foot started sinking into the water I thought "This is it, we're going over!" We all screamed as we scrambled to keep the boat upright. Matt was on the side going down first, and he got wet all the way up his legs. Brad was wet up to his knees when Corrinn was finally able to crawl over to my side and balance out the boat. Once we realized we weren't going to die, we all busted up laughing. It really was quite hilarious, especially when you considered the screaming that had been going on, and the fact that none of us was bright enough to see it coming. Not wanting to risk another "transfer" attempt, Brad jumped onto the back, Corrinn took his place in the middle and we paddled to the nearest shore. What an adventure! We were wet the rest of the evening, but it was a good story.

As we were finally leaving we ran into Mike to tell him thanks for throwing the party, and who was he walking with but Miss Kelley Konzak, another Sister from the mission! We convinced her to come with us (because she wouldn't know anyone else at the party) and Davis (Mike) promised to throw another party soon with just mission people, admitting that even he didn't know everyone there!

We headed back to Provo, though we took an unfamiliar route home and didn't know where we were most of the time. So much for Brad's "excellent" navigational skills. We kept heading north, stopping along the way to get Little Ceasar's Pizza and eat it on the sidewalk. Some ants came and crashed the party, but it was still fun. It made us feel like we were back in Texas, where you can't even sit in the grass for fear of being attacked by a swarm of Fire Ants. A storm was blowing in and the night was just beautiful. We watched the lightning flash in the distance as we laughed about the many "U" turns we had taken that night (read: I had taken that night) and joked about how many more there would be. (Just so you know, there were several yet to come...)

[This is a close up of a cuuuute little Fire Ant...awww...]

Once we made it back to Provo (after missing the correct freeway entrance and heading EAST instead of NORTH--don't ask) we went to the apartment of another friend of Matt's and played "Apples to Apples" that card game that has recently swept the young adult (and old adult) population and is played at almost every party I go to. Around midnight Corrinn and I decided that we'd better get going because we still had to drive home to Salt Lake, so we said goodbye to the group. We drove home, talking the whole way about more life lessons and things we had learned, and about how great the night had been. It really was a great way to spend a Friday night, even though it was filled with near misses and "U" turns...it's all part of a great journey!

I'm a Doube Chocolate Chunk--Half-Baked

So I am nannying this summer, and the little boy I tend has started taking 3 hour naps in the afternoon. This leaves me very little to do besides check Facebook and write entries for my new little hobby--this blog. So, here goes another one I have been working on for a little while. I promise the cookie reference will make sense by the end.

I’ve known from a very young age that I was somewhat more awkward than others when it came to social situations. I grew up with a twin brother who I was comfortable with, but when it came to others I was pretty shy. I think I was too mature for my own good, always worried about what other thought of me, and thus I was more concerned with what others thought than with just being “me.” I envied the girls who could just be fun and “cute” and “childish” while I worried over being seen as silly, immature, and awkward (and in doing so only increased my awkwardness.) I, like most of us, was teased, sometimes unwanted, and not always popular. It was difficult to figure out where I fit in sometimes, to say the least.

But enough about me as a kid, this entry is about me as an adult (or pseudo-adult). A few weeks ago I went to a party with a group of people who didn’t know each other. Well, let me rephrase that. Some of us knew each other, and the rest knew each other, but we didn’t ALL know each other. Now that I have been unmistakably clear, I will continue. Since my childhood I am much better about meeting new people, and about having “fun” in social situations. I can talk to new people, make them laugh, and just generally have a good time. However, that night I felt like a little kid again. I needed a “security blanket” and didn’t have one. It seems like those I felt most comfortable with were involved in cooking, cleaning, organizing, etc. Basically they were involved, and I wasn’t, so I sat to the side and felt very...awkward.

I won’t go into unnecessary details about the party, because that’s not really what this is about. But what frustrates me about the whole situation is how much I wanted to be involved, to talk to new people, to feel comfortable. I wanted to say “NO!” to the me inside that was feeling insecure. I wanted to say I was different as an adult than I was as a kid. But instead I let the awkward, lonely, uncomfortable, unwanted feeling grow until I felt my only options were to cry, scream, or run away (none of which are really socially acceptable at a party.) I did manage to make minor getaways: I escaped to the next room to play the piano; I hid in the living room, talking to the 2 year old daughter of a friend; I snuck onto the porch outside, pretending to make a phone call...whatever I could to escape the awkwardness I felt when I was with the group.

The night finally drew to a close and I felt relieved when I was finally able to excuse myself without seeming rude. I had wanted to leave for several hours so when I was finally able to I was more or less delighted. But as I drove home I pondered how I had felt all night. I regretted not just jumping in, starting a game, talking to someone new, or even just being okay with sitting back and watching. Don’t get me wrong, more often than not lately I am that person, who can do those things, but that night I just...wasn’t that girl.

It reminded me of the story Eleven by Sandra Cisneros, where she says sometimes you are older—like maybe you’re really twenty-five—but you feel like you’re three, or seven, or thirteen. You feel like an onion, or a wooden tree trunk, or those Russian dolls that fit inside each other, because inside of you, like a smaller Russian doll, is that eleven year old who wasn’t cool enough to hang out with the “popular girls,” or that awkward nineteen year old who didn’t date as much as her roommates. I was frustrated as I realized that as much as I wanted to forget about those “mini-me’s” and be a confident adult, as much as I wished I didn’t feel insecure and inadequate, and that I could forget I ever felt that way growing up, I was missing something very important: I am not that person anymore, but she is part of me nonetheless. The experiences I have had in my life all contributed to making me who I am now. Rather than thinking of the girl I “have been” as a collection of Russian dolls, or even as a staircase progressing upwards (an analogy I liked for a while), I decided to think of it like something I can really relate to: a batch of cookies.

On my mission we often used analogies or object lessons to teach people. It kept it simple enough for them to understand, and for us to explain in limited Spanish, and a batch of cookies was something we often used to teach everything from “family unity” to” why we have trials in life.” The way I applied it to myself was more or less the same. I am a work in progress, and I am not “done” yet. When you are making cookies, the ingredients by themselves may not be very attractive, tasty, or useful (tell me when you use baking powder by itself) but all are necessary. The individual days (and even years) of our lives are the same way. Some days, or years, we spend feeling not very attractive, but those times help us develop personality. Some years we spend feeling lonely, or unwanted, but those years help us develop empathy so we can help and love others later on. Eventually each of these experiences, whether they last for days or years, blend together to form the person you are meant to be.

But like I said, we aren’t “done” yet. Sometimes when you are mixing cookies you think it all looks pretty good, but then a chunk of butter pops out that didn’t quite mix in. It may remind you that you were once a greasy teenager who got teased (sorry...butter, grease...anyway); or you may find that the flour on the bottom didn’t get mixed in and it reminds you that once upon a time you had a rather lame sense of humor (dry...okay, yeah...). However, when we have those days that remind us of times past, we can either focus on who we were, or remind ourselves of who those experiences made us become. Maybe you learned to empathize with those who are teased, and you became a kinder person. Perhaps you never, ever developed a keen wit, but you learned to appreciate those who do have a great sense of humor, and learned to surround yourself with that kind of people.

Whatever the case, we are all works in progress. The end result will be delicious if we continue to let experience shape us for the better, rather than dwelling bitterly on the past. Don’t be “butter” or “flour.” Be a cookie...in progress. I wanna be a Double Chocolate Chunk. :)

Write on Blog...Check!

I have always been a list person. Even as a little kid I liked it when my mom left us a list of chores because each time I was able to cross something off of that list I felt a weird satisfaction. (Not that it made the chores any more enjoyable, but at least I got to cross something off...) As a busy high school student involved in different musical activities, student government, plays, classes, work, and friends, lists continued to be a familiar friend. College brought even longer lists with the onset of real homework, and the need to stay on top of assignments myself (as my teachers no longer cared whether or not we remembered and pretty much stopped reminding us...), as well as callings, work, and even more activities.

The mission brought different lists, though equally (if not more) important than the ones I had made before. Sure there were the less significant grocery lists, lists of stuff to write home about, lists of people to write back to, and lists of things to be done on P-day. Then there were the lists of investigators, lists of what we were going to teach them, lists of things to do to prepare for their baptisms, and (toward the end) lists of the sounds, smells, and sights I would miss about Houston when I had returned home again.
I realize that I get great satisfaction from making lists. Even more, I enjoy crossing things off of lists, which makes things like “to do” lists and packing lists some of my top favorite types of lists. However, more recently I realized that I sometimes go a bit too far. I noticed that sometimes I will make a list of things “to do” and because I know I will not get to most of them that day (or even that week sometimes) I will write other things on the list that are easier to do...or even things that I have already done. I admit it, I have written “wake up,” “shower,” “get dressed,” and other such “to dos” on a list I make in the middle of the day. Then I will promptly cross each of them off as if I had achieved a great goal, and justify putting off some of the less pleasant “to dos” on the same list because I at least crossed something off. And let’s face it: some of those things that are “less desirable” get passed from list to list to list...and never quite get crossed off. Though I’m not sure exactly what it is, I think I am discovering something about myself here... I’ll have to ponder that, but at least now I can cross something off my list today: write on blog.

A Picture is Worth 1,000 Words...

The saying goes that a picture is worth a thousand words. So, because I love photography almost as much as I love words, I thought I'd share a few of my photos in this post. (And because I know you'd rather look at 10 pictures than read 10,000 words...)

P.S. I do realize that the first official "post" on a blog I supposedly started because I "need to write" is composed almost entirely of pictures. The irony is not lost on me.

The Blogging Itch

Do you ever just need to write? Okay, I could probably name you over 200 fifteen and sixteen year-olds who would look at me like I was crazy if I asked them that question (and hey, they did) but I also know a significant number of people who would completely sympathize with that feeling, that need. It’s therapeutic, it’s calming, it feeds that inner creative drive, and from the way I just used spell-check to write therapeutic, it is good practice for my declining spelling skills. (I blame it on Spanish and spell-check. I used to be a great speller...) So, with all that in mind, I hope you enjoy following along as I share my random notions, worth-mentioning experiences, and occasionally insightful observations in a new format: my blog.

Oh, and what's with the title you ask? Well, for my bithday this year I received a gift from a good friend: a little book with the title Saying it Like it is.... When she gave it to me, my friend said, "The title made me think of you...cause you always say it like it is..." So there you go. Thanks for asking.